What to Do When your Boyfriend Doesn’t Give You a Birthday Gift

Gifts have been given (and…not given) since the beginning of time. According to the website Curious History, there is evidence to back the belief that primitive cavemen gave one another gifts in the Stone Age. From animal teeth to stones, the giving of gifts was a common occurrence.

During the Egyptian era, so may gifts were given to pharaohs, pyramids were built to store them all. The Romans used to greet each other with gifts like good luck tokens,

Western civilization has taken the cake with gift giving. Valentines Day, Easter, and Christmas are all occasions when gifting is popular. The most common time to receive gifts, other than Christmas for those who celebrate, is a birthday. While not everyone gives a birthday gift, boyfriends usually do. If yours doesn’t, it’s time to figure out why. Is it you…or is it him? Yes…it makes a difference.

🧠 The Psychology of Gift Giving

There is usually more attached to a gift that what’s inside the box. In a recent article, Moo.com nailed the top five reasons gifts are given which included:

  • Being nice: Some people are simply nice. They love to show their kindness through giving a present, especially when it’s someone’s birthday. The act of giving not only gives the receiver joy but also lifts the giver’s spirits too. Both parties involved may feel feelings of love, happiness, and boosted energy.
  • Bonding: Gift giving sparks a connection between the giver and receiver. Some givers hope to strengthen bonds by giving a gift and oftentimes do. This practice has taken place throughout the years and is most likely why the tradition is growing rather than fading away.
  • Empathy: When you give a present that you’ve thoughtfully purchased or made, you are surprising or delighting the person you give it to. This benefits you because you are practicing empathy which is a healthy thing to do. It also serves to regulate your emotions because you are putting yourself in someone else’s place to relate to how they feel while experiencing your own emotions as well.
  • Gratitude: Many times, gifts are given to show appreciation to another person. Birthdays are the perfect occasion to let someone know how grateful you are they are in your life. Gifts help you express what is sometimes difficult to say in words.
  • Give to get: One not-so-noble reason some people give is to get something in return. It may be affection, or it may be material things but they have a selfish motive behind the giving.

Of course, we are talking about NOT giving so how can the above information be helpful?

It can serve to make you aware of what it is about a gift that you find valuable. Why is it important for you to get a present from your boyfriend? Are you afraid that he doesn’t have any of the qualities above that would prompt him to give? Maybe he doesn’t.

Or, maybe he shows gratefulness, love, and empathy in other ways. Maybe he even gives you gifts at other times just not on your birthday. Having the whole story will help you figure out how the ending to this issue will go.

💭 Consider This

To better understand the situation, it’s good to analyze your man. Does he come from a family background of non-gifters? Some religions don’t believe in celebrating birthdays much less giving gifts. Some families simply don’t give birthday presents.

Perhaps he’s stuck – trying to think of the perfect gift until he freezes up. Or, maybe he’s insensitive and/or a cheapskate. Figuring out what’s going on in his head is the best way to get to the bottom of the situation.

It also helps to know that some of the best men on earth aren’t gift givers for one reason or another. And some jerks give amazing gifts. Sometimes a person’s heart is reflected in their ability and willingness to give, and sometimes it has nothing to do with anything.

😐 How to Handle the Non-Gifting Issue

Mental Help states that anger is often a natural automatic emotion that is covering up emotional pain. It can result from feeling rejected, threatened, or hsurt. If your boyfriend not giving you a gift on your birthday makes you angry, it’s a good idea to get in touch with he root emotion to make sure it isn’t something else.

If you are mad about your boyfriend not gifting you a present, own it. Be mad! It’s best to let it out because after all – it is what it is. After you’ve experienced your emotions, do something constructive like…tell him. He may have no idea.

Once everything is out in the open, one of three things will happen. You will work it out and either you will accept the fact that he is not going to give you a gift on your birthday, he will see how important it is to you and decide to change his ways, or the two of you will break up and it won’t matter that he doesn’t give you anything when your birthday rolls around.

Wrapping it Up

Finding Mr. Right or a facsimile of it begins and ends with you. If it is ultra-important to you for your boyfriend to give you a present on your birthday, if he refuses to, maybe he’s not the right one for you.

Regardless of if you are wanting the gift for material reasons or for emotional reasons, if it’s a big deal now, it most likely will be in the future too – maybe even more so. Work it out or move on.

Cheryl Jerabek
Cheryl Jerabek
Cheryl is a professional writer that has been writing ever since she could hold a crayon. She has authored over 200 fiction and non-fiction books for teens and adults (both credited and ghost-written) on a wide range of subjects. Cheryl also writes blogs and articles on various topics and themes. Residing in a small mountain community in Southwest Colorado, Cheryl draws her inspiration from the gorgeous scenery, her 2 adult children, and 3 grandchildren. She enjoys traveling, party and event planning, and hanging out with family and friends. “I write so you don’t have to,” is Cheryl’s motto.

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